A poem:

CONSOLATION

How agreeable it is not to be touring Italy this summer,
wandering her cities and ascending her torrid hill towns.
How much better to cruise these local, familiar streets,
fully grasping the meaning of every road sign and billboard
and all the sudden hand gestures of my compatriots.
There are no abbeys here, no crumbling frescoes or famous
domes and there is no need to memorize a succession
of kings or tour the dripping corners of a dungeon.
No need to stand around a sarcophagus, see Napoleon’s
little bed on Elba, or view the bones of a saint under glass.
How much better to command the simple precinct of home
Than be dwarfed by pillar, arch, and basilica.
Why hide my head in phrase books and wrinkled maps?
Why feed scenery into a hungry, one-eyed camera
eager to eat the world one monument at a time?
Instead of slouching in a cafe ignorant of the word for ice,
I will head down to the coffee shop and the waitress
known as Dot. I will slide in the flow of the morning
paper, all language barriers down,
rivers of idiom running freely, eggs over easy on the way.

- Billy Collins, poet, from ‘Sailing Alone Around the Room’.

(Quotation of the Day for August 29, 2008)

I may not leave the house tomorrow either. Rain, cold, rain, cold… weather for hibernating, baking, and (of an evening) taking occasional sips of liqueur.

Drive: A road trip through our complicated affair with the automobile
by Tim Falconer

Falconer talks about the history of automobiles, Detroit then and now, car culture, the quirks of traffic, urban sprawl, and much more, all structured around a long road trip of his own. Somehow he manages to treat all the various viewpoints with great sympathy and doesn’t shy away from that word complicated in the title.

His topics range from the expected:

Most people equate automobiles with freedom, and the more they have, the greater the independence, but the executive director of DU’s Rocky Mountain Land Use Institute doesn’t see it that way. “Owning three cars is enslavement,” he told me, citing all the time and money needed to maintain vehicles. “If we walk or bike, we can be free. That, in fact, is more freedom than being forced to buy three cars.” (p.211)

to thought-provoking side-effects of urban sprawl:

it dawned on me that sprawl encourages impaired driving. People heading out for a night on the town, or even a dinner that includes a bottle of wine, don’t want to take a cab because they can’t flag one at the end of the night — and they have to travel so far they couldn’t afford the fare anyway. So they drink and drive. (p. 141)

In an appendix it contains an amusing playlist of car tunes, which is really an indispensable part of any road trip. Nicely done.

Quotation of the Day for November 3, 2007

“Beware of those who argue the loudest. The truth does not care if it is questioned; the truth can always stand up to questioning. I have found that only the false fights back, retaliates, and attacks. The truth might defend itself, though it does not really need to. But liars trying to defend their lies get mean and dirty.”

- Larry Winget, “Shut Up, Stop Whining, and Get a Life”.

On that note, GO VOTE. Questions about where and how? Elections Canada. Questions about who? Vote your conscience.

Quotation of the Day for October 10, 2008

“You can clean files and other equipment, but there is just no way to sanitize live fish.”

- Christine Anthony, spokeswoman for the Washington State Department of Licensing explaining why “pedicures by fish” are now illegal in the state.

[http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/local/381596_FishFeet03.html]

Quotation of the Day for September 24, 2008

“Why then, if not to steal food, would a cat go up on the counter? Why did George Mallory try to go up on Mount Everest, which was quite a lot more trouble? Because it is there. Because of the view from the kitchen window. To lick the drips from the tap in the sink. To try to pry open the cupboards and see what’s inside them, maybe to squeeze among the glassware. Or, on a rainy day, to look for small objects to knock onto the floor and see if they roll.”

- Barbara Holland

“What, us? We NEVER go on the counter.

…um, when you’re watching, anyway, but never mind that. See how cute we are?”

Sarah Palin was de-witched by nutball pastor? What a shame

As for Palin, turns out Muthee laid on some hands, delivered a garbled serpents n’ brimstone prayer designed not merely to help her leap from Mayor of Nowheresville to perky gubernatorial fireplug … but also to protect her from that same silly/terrifying witchcraft I imagined in my youth.

…

Really, the irony of this whole affair is just too tasty to pass up. Because real witches are, of course, all about self-determination, complete spiritual freedom, and are often practiced in the innate magic of the earth, the body, the self. Most follow no particular deity or dogma, though that’s entirely optional (you can be a witch and a Christian, for example). Truth is, it’s too bad Palin’s not a witch herself. She’d be so much more interesting. And, you know, useful.

Hell, I know a number of happy, accomplished, practicing witches at work and play in the normal world right this very minute, running errands and playing with their kids and texting their boyfriends, not a single one of whom is currently indulging in a ritualistic blood-drenched sex orgy at the feet of Lucifer. Wait, let me check Facebook … nope, all normal.

I should always read Mark Morford first thing in the morning instead of letting my RSS feed randomly insert his columns in the middle of my scan. The bit about Facebook made me giggle hopelessly.

Quotation of the Day for September 8, 2008

“Bicycling is a big part of the future. It has to be. There’s something wrong with a society that drives a car to workout in a gym.”

- Bill Nye, the Science Guy.

In honour of our most-likely-imminent election:

Quotation of the Day for August 30, 2008

“Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies.”

- Sir Ernest Benn

I don’t play WoW (Civilization’s always been my timesucking computer game). But Lore does:

World of Warcraft‘s developers have mastered the unholy art of in-game bribery. They have discovered that players will do any number of stupid, tedious things in order to earn perks that have no effect on the game.

Just this week I’ve been fighting in battlegrounds — special areas where armies clash and 12-year-olds question each other’s sexuality — over and over just for a chance to win a tiny little flying dragon. This dragon doesn’t fight on my behalf or give me powers or anything. He just follows me around. In real life I try to avoid being tailed by parasitic flying creatures, but in the game I seek it out, even though I hate battlegrounds.

And really, what does my little dragon tell the other people in the game? The same thing it tells you — I spent too much time playing Warcraft.

This isn’t so bad, mostly because the other players spend too much time playing Warcraft as well. The zhevra mount, however, tells people: “Not only do I spend too much time playing Warcraft, I hassle those with enough wisdom to avoid it.” It’s sort of like helping out a drug baron, except at least drug mules generally get some cash out of the deal. This is as if someone said: “Hey, if you board a plane with this condom full of cocaine stashed someplace unmentionable, I’ll give you a stylish cravat.”

Some random quotes on Canadianness…

Quotation of the Day for June 22, 2008

“Canadians and Americans are indistinguishable. The only way to tell them apart is to make this statement to a Canadian.”

- Alan Abel, American, writer for the (Canadian) National Post, quoting (he believes) from “Canajan Eh?” which he read back in the seventies. CBC Radio, “The Current”, 11 Jun 2008.

Quotation of the Day for June 19, 2008:

“Canadians know that other countries exist. You all think of yourselves as one nation among many. Whereas my fellow Americans and I think of ourselves as one nation under God.”

- Will Straw, Acting Director of the McGill Institute for the Study of Canada as quoted by Sean Cole, Boston-based NPR reporter, CBC Radio, “The Current”, 11 Jun 2008.

The summer Jerry Garcia died, I was working at a daycamp in a conservation area outside Stouffville. Once each session some of the kids slept over at camp. I was in charge of organizing and supervising these little adventures, which was a blast but also exhausting since — as it was a daycamp — the kids weren’t used to it. Many had never slept outside before. The level of wildness was pretty high and actual sleeping was pretty minimal, particularly for the staff. We spent much of the evening running the kids around trying to get them good and tired. This never worked, so we then spent much of night making sure the kids didn’t get into TOO much trouble.

One session we had so many kids sign up for the sleepover that we did it on two successive nights. In retrospect, not the greatest idea, since there was no chance to nap during the days. On the second morning I was feeling very fuzzy and pretty spaced out, so after I unlocked the trailer that served as the camp office I flicked on the radio to keep me awake while I checked the messages and did other morning-camp stuff. And then the news came on, and I had the sad task of making my way over to the next field to break the bad news gently to a similarly-sleep-deprived and very sweet Deadhead staffer named Neal before some arriving kid ran off a bus and threw it at him. And so we stood there in the painfully early morning, the news of Jerry’s fatal heart attack soaking slowly through our befuzzed heads, and the kids ran around like wild things. It was …odd.

RIP, Jerry.

(Photo credit: Niffty)

Ripple
Words by Robert Hunter; music by Jerry Garcia.

If my words did glow with the gold of sunshine
And my tunes were played on the harp unstrung,
Would you hear my voice come thru the music,
Would you hold it near as it were your own?

It’s a hand-me-down, the thoughts are broken,
Perhaps they’re better left unsung.
I don’t know, don’t really care
Let there be songs to fill the air.

Ripple in still water,
When there is no pebble tossed,
Nor wind to blow.

Reach out your hand if your cup be empty,
If your cup is full may it be again,
Let it be known there is a fountain,
That was not made by the hands of men.

There is a road, no simple highway,
Between the dawn and the dark of night,
And if you go no one may follow,
That path is for your steps alone.

Ripple in still water,
When there is no pebble tossed,
Nor wind to blow.

But if you fall you fall alone,
If you should stand then who’s to guide you?
If I knew the way I would take you home.

La dee da da da, La da da da da, Da da da, Da da, Da da da da da
La da da da, La da da, Da da, La da da da, La da, Da da.

Listen to this track legally on last.fm

An annotated version of these lyrics is here, for Deadheads of a particularly academic bent.

Quotation of the Day for April 7, 2008

“When you consider something like death, after which (there being no news flash to the contrary) we may well go out like a candle flame, then it probably doesn’t matter if we try too hard, are awkward sometimes, care for one another too deeply, are excessively curious about nature, are too open to experience, enjoy a nonstop expense of the senses in an effort to know life intimately and lovingly. It probably doesn’t matter if, while trying to be modest and eager watchers of life’s many spectacles, we sometimes look clumsy or get dirty or ask stupid questions or reveal our ignorance or say the wrong thing or light up with wonder like the children we all are. It probably doesn’t matter if a passerby sees us dipping a finger into the moist pouches of dozens of lady’s slippers to find out what bugs tend to fall into them, and thinks us a bit eccentric. Or a neighbor, fetching her mail, sees us standing in the cold with our own letters in one hand and a seismically red autumn leaf in the other, its color hitting our sense like a blow from a stun gun, as we stand with a huge grin, too paralyzed by the intricately veined gaudiness of the leaf to move.”

- Diane Ackerman, from A Natural History of the Senses.

Quotation of the Day for June 30, 2008

“It’s no good pretending that any relationship has a future if your record collections disagree violently or if your favorite films wouldn’t even speak to each other if they met at a party.”

- Nick Hornby

Back a million years ago when my record collection kept to itself, I used to file them in the order I acquired them. This made perfect sense to me — if you want The Smiths, check the shelf of stuff I bought in 1986 — but of course it was utterly impenetrable to anyone else. I think it took several years of cohabitation before I was talked into blending our collections, going with the more conventionally sensible (but soulless!) alphabetic scheme of organization. The collections seem to agree well enough.

Our film choices would definitely speak to each other if they met at a party. “My Tiger Claw beats your Drowning Monkey,” one would say, and the other would say “No! Drowning Monkey is the best kung fu! Die, fool!” and off they’d rumble until Kung Fu Mom stepped in to trounce them both.

I am recording this here as solid evidence that we do, in our house, generally get along, as we contemplate the possibility that if we want our kitchen installed before the middle of August, we may have to do it ourselves. Like, together. Because it’s hard to hang wall cabinets solo. Stupid booked-up Ikea installers…

From an introduction to a biography:

After he died, I was interviewed a lot, asked about Douglas. I said that I didn’t think that he had ever been a novelist, not really, despite having been an internationally best-selling novelist who had written several books which are, a quarter of a century later, becoming seen as classics. Writing novels was a profession he had backed into, or stumbled over, or sat down on very suddenly and broken.

I think that perhaps what Douglas was was probably something we don’t even have a word for yet. A Futurologist, or an Explainer, or something. That one day they’ll realise that the most important job out there is for someone who can explain the world to itself in ways that the world won’t forget. Who can dramatise the plight of endangered species as easily (or at least, as astonishingly well, for nothing Douglas did was ever exactly easy) as he can explain to an analog race what it means to find yourself going digital. Someone whose dreams and ideas, practical or impractical, are always the size of a planet, and who is going to keep going forward, and taking the rest of us with him.

How odd to see this float through my inbox –

Quotation of the Day for April 4, 2008

“Its major importance would appear to be financial support of the surgical profession.”

- Alfred Sherwood Romer and Thomas S. Parsons, explaining the role of the human appendix, in The Vertebrate Body.

I remember doing a double-take on reading that sentence in that book, which is a formidable and otherwise utterly humour-free textbook. Thomas Parsons was a professor of mine, and a very good one, and in the vertebrate anatomy class in which we used that book he admitted to adding that sentence during the book’s revision.

As a professor he was old-school enough to wear a shirt and tie, but modern enough to wear his Zoology sweatshirt overtop and to get up on the lab counter to demonstrate the difference between reptilian hips and bird hips.

He taught me how to do excellent dissections with a blunt probe and an absolute minimum of scalpel, leading me to mutter disapprovingly when I later came across human bodies that had been dissected by scalpel-happy med students with no sense of subtlety.

He set insanely difficult bell-ringer exams, with specimens cut on the diagonal and all kinds of things where you’d waste half of your ninety seconds wondering what the heck the animal was, never mind identifying the bit of it with the pin in. His essay questions weren’t any easier. But then he’d scale up the marks so it was still possible to get a decent mark after all.

He had four season’s tickets to the opera and as his wife didn’t like opera he would take students. Not by invitation — by open call in class, first come first served. A brave thing, taking science geeks to the opera.

He was, in short, the sort of professor for whom you work hard not for yourself but because you don’t want to disappoint him.

He retired the same year I graduated and moved back to New Jersey to do some birding. I see he’s still doing that. We exchanged a few notes around the time I was applying to grad school. I’m sorry I didn’t keep up the correspondence, but it seemed he was settling very happily into retirement.

Quotation of the Day for February 25, 2008

“Walking, ideally, is a state in which the mind, the body, and the world are aligned, as though they were three characters finally in conversation together, three notes suddenly making a chord. Walking allow us to be in our bodies and in the world without being made busy by them. It leaves us free to think without being wholly lost in our thoughts.”

- Rebecca Solnit, from her book Wanderlust: A History of Walking.

Quotation of the Day for January 5, 2008

“Because it does not take much courage to fight when you still believe you can win. What takes real courage is to keep fighting when all hope is gone.”

- Deqing, Shaolin monk, explaining why heroes in Western action movies (who usually succeed) are less heroic than heroes in Chinese action movies (who usually die). Quoted by Matthew Polly in his memoir American Shaolin, about studying martial arts in China.

I could pretend that’s the reason why I like kung-fu movies, but in reality I think I like them because of the Kung-Fu Mom characters, who inevitably kick some impressive ass.

Her Way Sucks, I Prefer His:

I discovered accidentally, about 10 years ago, that men feel entitled to wear comfortable underwear that covers their entire ass. The whole thing.

Can you believe it? They feel entitled to comfortable underwear that covers their whole ass. Both cheeks entirely. They don’t feel they should shrink their ass – they feel the makers of underwear should provide enough fabric to serve its function. I’m just saying – that’s a different relationship than women have with our skivvies.

I prefer boxers, myself — a discovery made when I spent my first summer as a canoe tripper — but to each her own.

(h/t to Feminist Law Professors)

Quotation of the Day for October 7, 2007

“Fix what you can. Call the rest authentic.”

- Sarah Graves, offering home renovation hints in her novel Trap Door.

Quotation of the Day for October 5, 2007

“This is the basis of car culture, the idea that the world and all of the world’s people are merely in its way.”

- Travis Hugh Culley, in The Immortal Class: Bike Messengers and the Cult of Human Power.